SUMMARY: The development of conventional male role models, associated with the suppression of feelings and a tendency to aggression and violence, is illustrated with three case histories. The patients are suffering from anxiety, depression or addiction and they report their experience of violence, shame, guilt, self-hate and fear of failure. During treatment with potentised tobacco, they go through painful processes of recognition, often with lucid dreams that help them develop a more mature self-consciousness with increased softness and closeness. A central role in this process is played by empathic support. The author provides valuable information on this.